14 Comments
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Honeygloom's avatar

Wow, that is tough to read. So well done, honestly.

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Keith Long's avatar

Thanks very much, it was definitely dark. I wanted to do a story that focused on the dark side of people.

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Nick Winney's avatar

Oh my god. So sinister! that's very tight. not a word wasted there. need to read this several times. HOW did you get only 4th place Keith... it's literally toe curling.

as an aside... i have two maine coons and... well... you wouldnt want that much hair round your backside thats all im saying

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Keith Long's avatar

Haha agreed about the Maine coons

Thanks for reading, I’m really glad you enjoyed it! I had a lot of fun shaping the story - the initial idea was pretty different. Might end up doing a separate unrelated story with the original idea.

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Nick Winney's avatar

ahhhhhhggghh... I just noticed the countdown too... genius! keith... it was bad enough without the cat arse thing... that is actually the worst bit... because its the essence of the game of "dare" isnt it... that kids will do anything. and my next horror is going to have a Keith in it doing something vile... oh yes it is! 😆

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Keith Long's avatar

Yeah! I wanted a slightly less subtle way of indicating the structure of the story, so I figured that was one way of doing it haha

Oh good good, I love reposting quotes that feature me saying or doing the craziest things haha

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Nick Winney's avatar

The gauntlet has been thrown down.... but what could be worse than licking a cats bum hole, Keith....what indeed.... well, you will find out soon enough....soon enough

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Keith Long's avatar

(≖ ͜ʖ≖) lookin’ forward to it.

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Making It Up As I Go Alone's avatar

Great read, thanks. That structure makes it so unnerving and tense.

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Keith Long's avatar

Thanks very much, the idea started fairly different from the end product. But the first courtroom scene more or less popped into my head fully formed lol then writing it backwards just sort of worked.

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EJ Trask's avatar

I love the way you wrote this, it’s so suspenseful and horrifying. really great work.

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Keith Long's avatar

Thank you thank you thank! This has been fairly surreal, having so many incredible writers compliment my story haha

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Liz Zimmers's avatar

Wow! A train wreck I couldn’t look away from! Excellent, taut, and intense - so sleek and murderous.

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Keith Long's avatar

That is a great description haha Thanks so much for reading, commenting, and restacking - it's the best to get those notifications.

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