33 Comments
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Pablo Báez's avatar

Dig it!

Felt like ridin' down a slope

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Keith Long's avatar

Thanks, Pablo — it was a fun write. The first line came to me and then I just went from there without a plan

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Nick Buchheit's avatar

Took me on a ride for sure.

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Keith Long's avatar

Hah yeah me too! I had no idea where I was going where I started

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Con/Jur/d's avatar

I bet that felt hella good. The peice is great but the rush of writing must of been exquisite!

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Keith Long's avatar

It was pretty wild!

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Nick Winney's avatar

Keith that was great! beautiful beautiful words and images...40 minutes? i cant make a cup of tea in 40 monutes

"foreskin-pink"... <looks down pants and ponders>

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Keith Long's avatar

Hah! Thanks Nick!

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Emily S Hurricane's avatar

👏👏👏

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Keith Long's avatar

Thank you!

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Simpulacra's avatar

Holy shit man I fucking love this

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Keith Long's avatar

Thank you so much! It was a fun time having zero gameplan

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Colton Merris's avatar

Give Allen Ginsberg his poetry back.

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Keith Long's avatar

I do not know this name, so I shall look them up haha

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Simpulacra's avatar

Anti erotica time!

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Tom Schecter's avatar

Goddamn

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Keith Long's avatar

Hah short and tart!

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E. J. Ritter's avatar

WOW!!! Seriously, that's all I can really say! Just WOW!

That is a crazy exercise; using prompted words that were all so unique and crafting them into a digestible story, all within a timeframe?! WOW! And I love the cyberpunk theme... honestly I just loved the whole thing.

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Keith Long's avatar

why thank you! I'm very glad you enjoyed bit and very grateful for the comment!

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Parker McCoy's avatar

That's quite a vivid picture. Awesome work, Keith.

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Keith Long's avatar

Thanks! And thanks for reading and commenting - I appreciate it

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JLG Noga's avatar

Great stuff! Nicolas Winding Refn would have a field day with this

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Keith Long's avatar

Thank you very much! I don't know the name, so I'll look them up!

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JLG Noga's avatar

Danish filmmaker, big pioneer of 21st century neon-noir. That's just where my brain goes when I think of neon, definitely fits the vibe here with your piece straddling the line between the sacred and profane

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Keith Long's avatar

Ahh yes the profane and sacred is a fun balance to place around with, if done right. Thanks so much for sharing - I feel cool to have evoked such a vibe

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Artemis's avatar

What a surreal picture you paint here, I love the neon, cyberpunk setting. Every word you picked seems so intentional and complements the setting perfectly

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Keith Long's avatar

Thanks so much!

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EJ Trask's avatar

Keith this is great! you managed to avoid the traps of feeling gimmicky and sailed up to something really sharp and visceral

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Keith Long's avatar

Thank yooou very much! Means so much to hear. I grouped the words up in ways that made sense to my brain, then just started typing away, occasionally scrolling up to remember the words lol

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Jennifer James's avatar

You should do more of this. Truly. There's real emotion and a kind of youthful ecstasy. It put me in mind of Juliet's line: "Swear by thy gracious self which is the god of my idolatry...."

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Keith Long's avatar

I just might! It was a lot iof fun and that Shakespeare line feels perfect - I'm glad the concept of idolatry shows through, someone losing themselves to a warped sense of worship

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Liz Zimmers's avatar

Superb! That was an amazing slip-and-slide through your prompt words, and I loved the ride.

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Keith Long's avatar

Thank you so much!

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