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Jan 29
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Keith Long's avatar

Thank you for reading and doubly so for commenting!

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Elie Lichtschein's avatar

Loved this

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Keith Long's avatar

Thank you for saying so!

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Edith Bow's avatar

I don't know why you feel you didn't do well, this is superb. It's a great stream of consciousness POV, they are whatever comes to your mind.

The visualizations were potent, and I felt like I was there inside of the story. That's what feeling is all about when we write with feeling, there's layers, you write about it, the audience feels with you, and you got it.

The imagery is good. Well done. Hope to see you next round. And if you do other prompts, thanks for coming through!

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Keith Long's avatar

Thank you so much! It’s more I feel this isn’t my wheelhouse, I guess hah I really like what came out of this exercise — it was stretching and fun to do. I will definitely be back for more, and I may attempt it again with a prompt I still have left over.

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Nick Winney's avatar

Fantastic visual word painting Keith. I really got the sense you had crawled deep into a concept and world and a discrete earthy space in your mind and just put it all down as fast as you could.

and it feels sinister as fuck too.

Love it! the roots ... i can almost feel them in my hands and smell the soil and the grit under the nails 😎

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Keith Long's avatar

Thanks, Nick. I had a completely different idea when I chose the words but I sat with it and listened to some music and then things went this way hahah it was a lot of fun

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Zivah Avraham's avatar

Hoo, now this is creepy in the best way. Like you crawled into a haunted gutter. I love it!

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Keith Long's avatar

Thanks!

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Jessica Neal's avatar

This was great! Such vivid imagery

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Keith Long's avatar

Thank you thank you

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Liz Zimmers's avatar

As a mad gardener, I am shocked to see myself in your story, from a perspective I never thought of! This is insanely good!

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Keith Long's avatar

🥲thank you, means a lot to hear

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Tom Schecter's avatar

So good dude, hat tip

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Keith Long's avatar

👈🤠👉 Thank ye kindly, sir

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Nancy Santos's avatar

Well, Zivah prefaced this was dark and creepy, so I couldn’t help but think of how the serial killer Ed Kemper buried victims’ heads below his mother’s bedroom window because she always looked down on people.

This is a twisted compliment btw. 🖤

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Keith Long's avatar

Whoa, that’s a wild bit of info haha I’ve never heard of him, but yeah this piece does have a strange dark tinge to it — thanks for reading it!

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K.M. Bennett's avatar

This line is beautiful! "I can picture the view up through the green stems and their swaying nubile buds, the sunlight coming through the thin membranes of leaves, illuminating dark veins against yellow-green hearts of plant life."

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Keith Long's avatar

Thank you very much! That was one where I really saw it in my minds eye

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Minnie Mayhem's avatar

I'm not sure if this is heartwarming or eerie... well done!

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Edward.Marlo.Ruiz's avatar

Super dope shit. A little bit of fear sprinkled in with this one that creeps into you like vines. Loved hearing this. Thanks for showcasing it.

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Keith Long's avatar

🫶Thanks for watching, and thanks a bunch for wandering over to comment — I appreciate it

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